guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
