and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
