yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
