I'm drive I can fine osifer
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
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Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
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But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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