my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
handjob tips. give me some.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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