dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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