the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
