there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
