Your tits are I can't wait for
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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