You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Randomize
