Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
