I smell stomach acid.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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