..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
