I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
