Quick, to the slutcave!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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