Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
