If i come over, it means nothing
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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