My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
