Capitaan dildo arrescate!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
