He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
