i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
