I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
