So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
