mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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