So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Someone came in the potted fern
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
