It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
