She tied me up with her honor cords...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
