You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
as a side note pls kill me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
