dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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