If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
