North Korea, Best Korea!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
