I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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