Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
