His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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