So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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