Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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