I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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