Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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