it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
More tranny stories later!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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