glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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