time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
