Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
