my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
