She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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