Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
high people should be assigned attendants
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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