No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
