What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Houston, we have a squirter
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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