I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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