You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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