what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Send help, water and tortillas.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
