See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
