Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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