Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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