hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
