I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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