ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
