okay pat passed out under dana's car
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
