my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
