I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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